RED

I recently did another self-portrait, and it is still weird to paint yourself. I have done quite a few self-portraits at this point and many portraits of other people. You never really get used to seeing yourself in a painting. I much rather paint someone else because then I would not have to stare at myself for 30+ hours.

Painting has always been one of those things where it is effortless because I do not have to think hard to produce results. That is not to say I am talented or that I don’t struggle. It just means that I enjoy mixing colors to produce a pleasing pattern to my eyes, and that is something that comes naturally to me. It is also very therapeutic to me to mix colors that reflect my emotions. Like I have said before, I paint because words are almost never enough to show how I truly feel. Specifically, I put those emotions in a painting because colors can tell a story that is otherwise ineffable. I still paint when I am sad or when I cannot process my feelings. It is nice to channel those feelings onto a blank canvas because now I can visualize what I am feeling.

Looking back, it does make sense why I paint when I’m feeling low. I started painting because I was burnt out from studying science and needed an outlet to alleviate the depression. It makes sense that I associate painting with moments of sadness in my life. But is that really a bad thing? Many artists channel their hurt into art. Instead of writing breakup songs, I paint because that’s what works for me. My paintings are usually never made for anyone else but myself. It is a snapshot of what I went through at that moment in my life, and I like to keep that for myself.

I never really talked about how I go about starting a painting. I guess this is where I will tell you about my process of painting a portrait. To start, I usually pick a subject. In the case of a self-portrait, it would be me. I will then choose a picture that I want to paint and use as a reference. Although I try my best to make the portraits accurate, there will always be slight variations to the finished painting. I’m not sure why that is, but perhaps it is my interpretation of how I see the subject. I like to think that is the case because then others can see how I visualize and interpret that individual. I will call it “the artist POV.” I am very appreciative of the invention of modern-day cameras because I cannot do a live-model painting. It is challenging and seems like torture for the subject. I cannot even begin to fathom how vexing it would be to stay still in the same position for hours on end.

I start by sketching on the canvas. I use either charcoal or a pencil to make the sketch. In this case, I also did a beige overcoat on the canvas before making the sketch.

Something to keep in mind is that there is no right way to paint, so paint however you like! What is great about oil paint is that you can mix any colors you want. Plus, you have the option to wipe away any paint you do not want off the canvas by using a pallet knife or a towel. Oil paint takes a bit of time to dry, so you will have many opportunities to make adjustments. Take my painting process with a grain of salt because this is simply how I paint, but you can do whatever you want. That is what is so great about art!

I usually test out the colors I want to use by blocking out sections of the painting with that specific color. I also happen to finish painting the face first, but I switch it up every time I paint.

At this point in the painting, I have finished painting the face and have blocked off a good portion of the painting with the colors that I want to use. It took about 6 hours to get to this stage. Because I was content with the progress, I took a break from this painting. Oil paint takes a long time to dry, so I have the option to go back in after a few days to continue painting.

After a long break in between, I finally finished the painting. I took a week-long break, which was longer than I had expected. I did, however, finished the rest of the painting in less than 3 hours. After finishing up all the details, I was satisfied with the painting. The only thing left to do is give this painting a name.

RED

I decided to call this painting red. I have not used a red background in a painting before, so it fits to call this painting red. The second reason why I named this painting red is that I’m reminded of Taylor Swift’s song Red. The lyrics to the song resonated with how I felt at the start of the painting because I wish I never found out that love could be that strong.

“Loving him was red.”

That is the end of this painting! I am glad I got to finish this painting and give it a name that is fitting to how I felt. Truth be told, this maroon red and military green also happens to be my favorite colors. As you can see, so much of how I feel subconsciously come to life on the canvas. Painting is truly something that I can never stop doing because now you can see me from my point of view.