This Point In Time
Oh my, it has been a while since I have written here. I have just been traveling through the motion of life. But also, I have done quite a bit of actual traveling as well. I went to Denver, Colorado for the first time in December 2021. I followed up that trip with a solo travel journey to New Orleans, Louisiana. I have made it a goal to travel to a new city as frequently as I can because I finally have the ability to do so. I work remotely so the possibility of traveling is endless. My next destination is heading to Atlanta, Georgia and I have no idea what I plan to do there. But one thing is for sure, I will be eating nonstop. I am actually content with where I am in life for once.
You can say quite a bit has changed since I turned 25. I am very invested in cocktail making and have been making so many cocktails at home; it is both a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing in that I can have any drink I want (assuming I can make it) and save money. Don’t get me wrong, I love going out to have a drink but I cannot afford that frequent lifestyle. For that, I would need a sugar papa. The cursing part about being able to make your own drinks is that you end up consuming A LOT of alcohol. I am constantly pushing the boundaries of moderation.
At the beginning of this year, I finally got enough courage to end things with J***. Well kind of. By that I mean, I finally expressed what I want and what I need. I am finally putting myself first for once. This does not change our day-to-day dynamic because we still talk every single day. I love and care about this man because he is my friend and I want to talk to him. But going forward, I will not expect a relationship out of him because that is simply not within the means of what we both want and need. There was an immediate relief after I dropped all romantic expectations from J***. This was a long time coming and I just finally had the courage to execute my feelings.
This new sense of liberation has been good for me. I had forgotten what it felt like before all the relationship issues and what it felt like to just put myself first. I don’t want a relationship at this moment in time, I want to experience life on my own. When it is all been said and done, I am still my number one. As cynical as this may be, people tend to disappoint. But why should I be surprised when disappointment is all I have ever received. I simply do not have time to waste on let-downs. Maybe it is finally time for me to be a bad bitch.
I am romantically liberated and over inebriated